She asked me what kind of advice I’d give to her, after my three years of experience with the youth. I had to think of the words of a pastor in Transylvania. He explained his idea of education to me, which I like very much, and so I always try to imply his guidelines to my work as well. He compared education with the care for a grapevine. He said, if you have a grapevine, first you cut off the bad sprouts back to the roots. After that you will only have to do the fine works, like cultivating the vine and look after it until there are good grapes. There where times of growing and corporate growth for me and for the youth of Feherlofia and so the wise words of the pastor came true. Only within an atmosphere of consequent expectations and rules, where bad behaviour towards the smaller and weaker ones, cursing and complaining, deliberate harm of others, stealing, careless treatment of common goods are not accepted and other features and moral concepts than those of the street life or life in the orphanage in the unattended youth groups where supported, a community could be established which is based on love and carries each of us.

It was a wonderful feeling to experience how more and more young people stood up for the work and community in Feherlofia. They helped me with the preparation of the programs, with the regular cleaning, the care of our common goods and with the loving reception of our guests. They called my oncoming child “Feherlofia-child” and somebody told me, that unfortunately now the kids and adolescents of Feherlofia wouldn’t be that important to me, now that I’ve got my own child.

It’s not easy for me and the young people to abandon our work after those three years, which seemed so short. I guess it won’t be easy for Kinga to go on with this work. She arrives and starts to work in a milieu, in which the children and adolescents have life experiences and expectations that she doesn’t know so far. Not only the young people have to get used to being with her, she as well has to get used to being with them, accept them and love them. I think what’s most important, is that Feherlofia will keep on being a place of community and shelter, where the young people have a place to grow and find inspiration.

I’m thinking of so many young kids who where given to the flat-sharing communities. After the dissolution of the orphanage they were given to a foster family. Two years later they were given back from the foster family to the flat-sharing communities, because the effort was bigger than the payment. The children are 4 to 6 years old and at that age they already have to experience that they’re not wanted. Some of them have already been living in three different places. Until they’re fully grown up and can leave the flat- sharing communities, there’s a lot of time left. I hope we, a an association, and as dedicated, interested people can contribute to the aim, that one day those children will be able to see themselves as strong, independent people.

Today that I’m carrying a child myself, I’m regarding these young, innocent children with even more comprehension and sensibility. It must be so hard to grow up without a mother, loving parents and a family that supports them. I hope that the same reliance and friendship you gave to me, since we’ve been building up Feherlofia, you’ll also give to my successors. In autumn there’ll be two more volunteers, financed by a foundation called “memory and future”, who will start to work with the association Feherlofia. Along with Kinga and Peter Großmann, who has already been working for the project in Romania for one year now, they’ll be a great team. I’d like to request you for some financial help because recently our donations have decreased a little bit because of the natural catastrophes in Romania and other places. But we need your help in order to be able to go on with the work of the Romanian Initiative Group and Feherlofia. Please don’t hesitate to donate smaller amounts of money during some time, for example 5 Euros a month. These donations that last during a certain amount of time are especially appreciated!

I’m sending you my kindest regards and wish you all the best!

Yours sincerely, Hajnalka Mátéffy

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